This week has been full of firsts. My housemates and I had our first community night- a night during the week that we intentionally set aside to spend time with each other. Our "support team" came over to facilitate and help us figure out what we want from community nights and what we want them to look like. A little background on a JVC support team- each JVC community gets a different support team in their city. They welcome us (with lots of cookies and goodies) upon arrival, show us around the city, and basically act as a resource for any questions we might have or any help we might need. Cindy works in campus ministry at Rockhurst University, and Cortney works at KCUMB (ironically enough, one of the schools I applied to) as a graphic designer. Both of them volunteer themselves to support us throughout our year, for which we are incredibly thankful and blessed. Anyway, we did a daily EXAMEN together (which is baically just reflecting on our highest and lowest point in the week, and where we felt God the most and the least). I've definitely felt most near to God through all the people I've been meeting, and through my roommates. I've been asking God to help me see people through His eyes, and it's amazing how when I pray this seemingly simple prayer, that my capacity for love and compassion for others increases 100-fold, even in situations where it's hard to have love and understanding. I love learning about people and their backgrounds- when I'm listening to their stories, it's as if I'm learning how God made them and weaved their mind and heart together. I also feel incredibly close to God when working at KC Free. It's as though God has wired me to work in the medical field, and that it's not just a "calling" or something, but a passion that He has given me and allowed me to cultivate through my work, so it's just so easy to be thankful and praise him for that. Other than that, my lowest points have been in comparison- I have already developed the sense that I have some big shoes to fill as the new Jesuit Volunteer, (the previous volunteer was clearly dearly loved) but I continue to try to remind myself of the reason I'm here, and who I'm really working for. Matthew 25:40 has especially brought me comfort these past couple of weeks starting this new job: "'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."
It was also really great to be able to hear my roommates highs and lows, get to understand them more, and in some cases, be able to relate to each other. We all decided that we want our community nights to be a time where we can let down our inhibitions, step out of our comfort zones, and be able to laugh at ourselves and each other. We've found that times we have formed the closest bonds have been times where we had to let ourselves be raw and vulnerable - i.e. learning how to contra dance, getting the flu, and riding in the car to KC for almost 9 hours together after a week of 12 hour days. I think these are going to be great community nights.
Another first for this week- I got assigned my first behavioral health client! I will be assessing this client to find out her needs, help her find resources, and sit in on her therapy and psychiatry appointments. I get to meet with her next week for the first time, and I'm really nervous but so excited at the same time. I've been really antsy to finally get my own clients after I've been shadowing the other case managers the past couple weeks. I also sat in on a therapy session for a very seriously mentally ill client for the first time. This person had very little ability to distinguish delusion from reality, and extreme paranoia, but the person was aware that they had a mental illness and unable to distinguish reality from their own delusion. I couldn't imagine being in that situation. I share this because once again, I realize I'm not going to fix this problem, but my heart has really been going out to some of these people. They just want to get their lives on track, and feel normal. I often find myself writing them down in my journal and just praying over them, because at this point, that's all I can do. That and just be where God wants me to be.
On Wednesday our community had our first of many dinners with some sisters who live in community in Kansas City, Kansas. They've invited us over for dinner every month for the rest of the year. Amazing ladies- they are so fun, and hilarious. Some things I'm learning about the jesuit community and sisters- they totally contradict any stereotypes I assume people have (because I definitely did) about Jesuit priests and nuns. They are some of the most fun, goofy people I've met, and I've found myself relating to their personalities. The sisters made us dinner and the most amazing dessert, told us some fun things to do in KC, and told us of their adventure acting out a scenario for one of their friends who was nervous for her first time traveling on a plane. I am really looking forward to all the meals we will be sharing with them for the rest of the year.
Finally, I went to my first march today, for women's equality. It was amazing. I got to learn more about all the non-profit aid services offered to women and mothers in KC, but most of all, I heard many of the struggles women face in our economy today. We got to hear the real stories of young single mothers who are struggling to provide for and raise their children. One of the biggest struggles these mothers are facing is the vicious circle of poverty. If a woman is recieving TANF (temporary assitance for needy families) because she is making $8.00 an hour, and she gets a $0.25 raise, she loses her TANF, meaning childcare, healthcare, food stamps, or whatever other aid she might have been recieving from TANF. As you can imagine, $0.25 is not enough to cover all those expenses, making her take two steps backward from the one step she took forward with the raise.
Overall, it was such a motivating, empowering experience, and I'm really glad I had the privelege to hear their stories. It also helped me remember I'm part of a bigger picture, and a bigger community from what I see firsthand from day to day.
Also as a quick side note- I'm really proud of myself for figuring out the KCTA (Kansas City transit...association?) After living in Chicago for four years and using the CTA for so long, it was frustrating living in a new city and not knowing my way around. I just want to be able to leave the house and know how to get to a certain street without having to look up directions! I'm definitely out of my comfort zone in that way (go figure coming from Chicago). As much as I am loving Kansas City, I really miss the culture of Chicago, and using my Chicago skills (Chicagoans you get me right?). Kansas City is such a driving city. Sometimes it seems like no one lives here because there are rarely people out walking anywhere, especially downtown, and it seems to be so countercultural to ride the bus, walk, or bike (which my housemates and I do all of anyway). Another thing I've also noticed, is that sadly, this city is very segregated. I am aware that Chicago has it's flaws, and there is defintely still discrimination that goes on, but it is definitely not segregated the way Kansas City is. Troost Ave (a block from our house) used to be a racial dividing line, but it seems that line never truely went away. It's frustrating to get funny looks when I ride the bus, or go for a run in a certain direction, and it's definitely been interesting to see the differences in neighborhoods. Some of our JVC support families have been encouraging us to immerse ourselves in the neighborhoods that our clientelle at our organizations live, which could mean going east to McDonalds for ice cream, instead of West to Yogurtini, if you catch my drift.
That's all for now! Thanks for listening!
Rejoice,
Heidi
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Processing
It feels good to have officially survived my first week of work- actually I'm not gonna say I survived, but that I thrived (Bridesmaids anyone?). I'm going to continue to talk about how much I love working at this clinic. It's really a unique place in that it seems like every employee lives out
their mission statement every day. It's such a breath of fresh air to
see these social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, nurses, doctors,
etc. treating their patients with dignity and the utmost respect, both to their face and behind closed doors. Too many times at other hospitals have I overheard medical professionals badmouthing their patients as though they are undeserving of medical care, whereas at this clinic I overhear the medical professionals talking about their patients as if they're family members. This is exactly the kinds of place I hope to work for my whole life. I also love the people I work with. Something they've all been telling me, and something I've also been experiencing firsthand, is that when working at a place like this, you need to have a sense of humor. They're always playing little pranks on each other and teasing and joking (yes, even the doctors and psychiatrists)- so of course I fit right in....at least that's what I tell myself anyway ;)
The days go by SO quickly. From 9 to 12 I work in the medical part of the clinic, assessing patients before the doctor or other medical professional sees them, and in the afternoon I sit in with patients during psychiatry and therapy sessions working as a behavioral health case manager. For those of you who don't know, a behavioral health case manager acts somewhat as a liaison between the psychiatrist and the patient, and gets the patient whatever resources they might need. It has been an amazingly humbling experience. I'm 22 years old, and pretty much all of the patients are older than me, whether that's by two years or thirty years, and I'm well aware that some of them might not be okay with telling me all of their most personal business (although some of them are too okay with telling me more than I need to know). However, it has been quite an experience seeing, hearing, and experiencing some of the things that I've already come across this first week. I serve people who have experienced extreme financial hardship, homelessness, sexual, mental, and physical abuse, and so much more. During clinical assessments it takes all I have to take down the notes with no reaction, and remain as professional and confident as I can be, while inside I'm feeling their pain. I'm confident that as I get more experience this will become easier, but being thrown into this so quickly has been a bit of a shock- but a good shock nonetheless. I feel like I'm being told "Here's this population that most people don't even know about, and you're going to serve them and learn all about everything they're going through firsthand." It's experiences like this that fuel my passion and desire to become a doctor and push me even harder to put every ounce of my being into it. I want to bring hope to the people I serve. So many of them are in desperate, seemingly hopeless situations, and I want them to know what Paul says in Romans 5 and what I am so confident about, that "hope does not disappoint us." I know I'm not going to change the world and fix everyone's problems, but I am at least going to try to bring hope to the faces I get the privilege to see.
Aside from the clinic, my housemates and I have been enjoying some much needed down time (even though it is still very little). We've had a chance to have a few meals around our table together, talk about our jobs, our hopes for the year, our struggles, and provide each other with support. I'm really enjoying getting to know each of them even more- they are fascinating people, and the organizations they work for are incredible as well. Chris works at Donnelly College, where they provide affordable education for minority groups and those who might not be able to attend college. Morgan works at Legal Aid of Western Missouri where they provide legal services to individuals, families and groups faced with economic barriers in obtaining civil legal representation, and work on projects designed to concentrate services in areas of particular concern to the client community. And finally, Allie works at Operation Breakthrough, an incredible daycare that helps children who are living in poverty develop to their fullest potential by providing them a safe, loving and educational environment. They also support and empower the children's families through advocacy, referral services and emergency aid. (I took most of that from the organization's mission statements, but these places all really live out their missions every day). I really encourage you to type these places into your search browsers and check them out- they're so cool! Anyway, I keep forgetting to bring my camera memory card with me to the computer lab, but there are lots of pictures to come! Thanks for visiting!
Rejoice,
Heidi
The days go by SO quickly. From 9 to 12 I work in the medical part of the clinic, assessing patients before the doctor or other medical professional sees them, and in the afternoon I sit in with patients during psychiatry and therapy sessions working as a behavioral health case manager. For those of you who don't know, a behavioral health case manager acts somewhat as a liaison between the psychiatrist and the patient, and gets the patient whatever resources they might need. It has been an amazingly humbling experience. I'm 22 years old, and pretty much all of the patients are older than me, whether that's by two years or thirty years, and I'm well aware that some of them might not be okay with telling me all of their most personal business (although some of them are too okay with telling me more than I need to know). However, it has been quite an experience seeing, hearing, and experiencing some of the things that I've already come across this first week. I serve people who have experienced extreme financial hardship, homelessness, sexual, mental, and physical abuse, and so much more. During clinical assessments it takes all I have to take down the notes with no reaction, and remain as professional and confident as I can be, while inside I'm feeling their pain. I'm confident that as I get more experience this will become easier, but being thrown into this so quickly has been a bit of a shock- but a good shock nonetheless. I feel like I'm being told "Here's this population that most people don't even know about, and you're going to serve them and learn all about everything they're going through firsthand." It's experiences like this that fuel my passion and desire to become a doctor and push me even harder to put every ounce of my being into it. I want to bring hope to the people I serve. So many of them are in desperate, seemingly hopeless situations, and I want them to know what Paul says in Romans 5 and what I am so confident about, that "hope does not disappoint us." I know I'm not going to change the world and fix everyone's problems, but I am at least going to try to bring hope to the faces I get the privilege to see.
Aside from the clinic, my housemates and I have been enjoying some much needed down time (even though it is still very little). We've had a chance to have a few meals around our table together, talk about our jobs, our hopes for the year, our struggles, and provide each other with support. I'm really enjoying getting to know each of them even more- they are fascinating people, and the organizations they work for are incredible as well. Chris works at Donnelly College, where they provide affordable education for minority groups and those who might not be able to attend college. Morgan works at Legal Aid of Western Missouri where they provide legal services to individuals, families and groups faced with economic barriers in obtaining civil legal representation, and work on projects designed to concentrate services in areas of particular concern to the client community. And finally, Allie works at Operation Breakthrough, an incredible daycare that helps children who are living in poverty develop to their fullest potential by providing them a safe, loving and educational environment. They also support and empower the children's families through advocacy, referral services and emergency aid. (I took most of that from the organization's mission statements, but these places all really live out their missions every day). I really encourage you to type these places into your search browsers and check them out- they're so cool! Anyway, I keep forgetting to bring my camera memory card with me to the computer lab, but there are lots of pictures to come! Thanks for visiting!
Rejoice,
Heidi
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Jumbled
This has been quite an interesting 2 months of my life. I am astounded by the things I have experienced thus far, the things God has been teaching me and the way He has taken care of me. My last couple weeks in Illinois were a whirlwind-I took the MCAT (thanks for your prayers, still waiting for scores! AHHHH), had to decide what to cram into 2 boxes and a suitcase to sustain my material life for the next year, (ok let's be real, until I come home during Christmas), and visited, celebrated, and said see you to some really amazing friends, who I can actually call my family (Bethesda and the three sisters). These few weeks made me realize I am missing little pieces of my heart, but some really special people and places are guarding those pieces.
All that being said, a chapter of my life has ended, and a new one has begun. I have been blown away by my JVC experience so far. Orientation week was in Indiana, at a retreat center in the middle of the woods- with literally (and I mean LITERALLY) no contact with the outside world- it was great. I did some trail running, contra dancing (look it up, and then try it, seriously), had lots of quiet time, lots of time praying and listening with God, reading my bible, and really learning about people. For those of you who don't know, the Jesuit Volunteer Corps is based on Ignatian Spirituality (it's a type of Catholic teaching). I learned more about the Jesuits, what they stand for (really awesome people, read up on them if you get a chance, and hang out with them), different ways of praying, listening, and got the chance to see the world from others' perspectives.
We discussed in depth the four values we as Jesuit Volunteers will try to grow in and embody this year, and hopefully carry with us into our lives. They are: spirituality, community, simple living, and social justice. My housemates and I are SO excited to grow together in these four values. Just for a little preview- We've so far had plenty of community bonding time, learning (quite in depth might I add) about each others lives at orientation, the eight and a half hour car ride to Kansas City, the flu (yup), cleaning the swamp house together (yup- just like it sounds), visiting each others work sites together before our first day, and being welcomed into this wonderful city by some amazing people who have astounded us with their generosity, hospitality, and love. We've already been given a key to the Jesuit Residence at Rockhurst University, where we have also been invited to brunch every Sunday (and oh my gosh the food is AMAZING, just like the company). Oh by the way parents, grandparents, etc, you can rest assured I am safe, our house is right across the street from Rockhurst University, where campus security patrols daily and nightly.
Some things we're excited about for simple living- we've decided to try to make as much food as possible from scratch (which so far has only been bread, but we've been here less than a week), not use paper products like towels, napkins, plates, etc (but we ARE using toilet paper, just so that's clear), we're obviously trying not to spend money on eating out, new clothes, etc, and later I'll put up pictures of our house and that will explain everything else related to simple living ;)
There is one more thing to touch on before I end this post (even though there is still so much more to tell, but I'll let everyone catch up on this before I write a novel) and that is my job. I am overjoyed by what I have the opportunity to do and the organization I have the privilege to be part of. For those of you who don't know, I am a patient assistant and behavioral health case manager at a free health clinic (KC Free). This organization is amazing. They serve the individuals in society who otherwise might fall through the cracks and not receive health care- that is, those with no insurance, those who have been refused insurance coverage, etc. They focus on the whole person, not just their health issues but any socioeconomic barriers people might encounter that could also affect their health. This place is in line with my views on health care to a T- or should I say mine is in line with theirs. They have health care services in general medicine, HIV prevention, primary care, behavioral health, and dentistry. They are the largest free health clinic in the country, with a full-time staff of 105, plus over 1,200 volunteers. Today was my first day, and I was just on top of the world. For the first part of my day I assess patients before they see the doctor (usually a volunteer doctor or resident from KU). I took their blood pressures, pulse, patient histories, urine tests, blood glucose, and that was just my first day.
There will be much more to come, and believe it or not I have only skimmed the surface of these past few weeks. I apologize this is all kind of thrown on the page in a jumble, but that is literally what I feel like right now- and my community and I are anxiously awaiting some much needed structure and routine (which still won't be much) that the next few weeks will finally fall into. Until next time!
Rejoice,
Heidi
All that being said, a chapter of my life has ended, and a new one has begun. I have been blown away by my JVC experience so far. Orientation week was in Indiana, at a retreat center in the middle of the woods- with literally (and I mean LITERALLY) no contact with the outside world- it was great. I did some trail running, contra dancing (look it up, and then try it, seriously), had lots of quiet time, lots of time praying and listening with God, reading my bible, and really learning about people. For those of you who don't know, the Jesuit Volunteer Corps is based on Ignatian Spirituality (it's a type of Catholic teaching). I learned more about the Jesuits, what they stand for (really awesome people, read up on them if you get a chance, and hang out with them), different ways of praying, listening, and got the chance to see the world from others' perspectives.
We discussed in depth the four values we as Jesuit Volunteers will try to grow in and embody this year, and hopefully carry with us into our lives. They are: spirituality, community, simple living, and social justice. My housemates and I are SO excited to grow together in these four values. Just for a little preview- We've so far had plenty of community bonding time, learning (quite in depth might I add) about each others lives at orientation, the eight and a half hour car ride to Kansas City, the flu (yup), cleaning the swamp house together (yup- just like it sounds), visiting each others work sites together before our first day, and being welcomed into this wonderful city by some amazing people who have astounded us with their generosity, hospitality, and love. We've already been given a key to the Jesuit Residence at Rockhurst University, where we have also been invited to brunch every Sunday (and oh my gosh the food is AMAZING, just like the company). Oh by the way parents, grandparents, etc, you can rest assured I am safe, our house is right across the street from Rockhurst University, where campus security patrols daily and nightly.
Some things we're excited about for simple living- we've decided to try to make as much food as possible from scratch (which so far has only been bread, but we've been here less than a week), not use paper products like towels, napkins, plates, etc (but we ARE using toilet paper, just so that's clear), we're obviously trying not to spend money on eating out, new clothes, etc, and later I'll put up pictures of our house and that will explain everything else related to simple living ;)
There is one more thing to touch on before I end this post (even though there is still so much more to tell, but I'll let everyone catch up on this before I write a novel) and that is my job. I am overjoyed by what I have the opportunity to do and the organization I have the privilege to be part of. For those of you who don't know, I am a patient assistant and behavioral health case manager at a free health clinic (KC Free). This organization is amazing. They serve the individuals in society who otherwise might fall through the cracks and not receive health care- that is, those with no insurance, those who have been refused insurance coverage, etc. They focus on the whole person, not just their health issues but any socioeconomic barriers people might encounter that could also affect their health. This place is in line with my views on health care to a T- or should I say mine is in line with theirs. They have health care services in general medicine, HIV prevention, primary care, behavioral health, and dentistry. They are the largest free health clinic in the country, with a full-time staff of 105, plus over 1,200 volunteers. Today was my first day, and I was just on top of the world. For the first part of my day I assess patients before they see the doctor (usually a volunteer doctor or resident from KU). I took their blood pressures, pulse, patient histories, urine tests, blood glucose, and that was just my first day.
There will be much more to come, and believe it or not I have only skimmed the surface of these past few weeks. I apologize this is all kind of thrown on the page in a jumble, but that is literally what I feel like right now- and my community and I are anxiously awaiting some much needed structure and routine (which still won't be much) that the next few weeks will finally fall into. Until next time!
Rejoice,
Heidi
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