Having life to the full

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey Him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God. He will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed with them by oath." -Deuteronomy 4:29-31

Something I think is easy to forget to do, is to reflect back on where God was in my day. Sure there are times when it comes easily, and He so clearly reveals himself, but there are also instances where it seems like He stands back in silence, waiting to see if I'll realize what just happened. Monday was one of the times where it was easiest. I had a great day at the clinic (as usual). I've gotten to know one of the volunteer doctors pretty well. He's quite a character and extremely attentive to his patients (he even recruited me to sing happy birthday with him to one of his patients). He knows I want to go into the medical field so he's always welcoming me to observe exams, teaching me things, or calling me over to see what a patient with an extreme case of osteoporosis looks like. This week he showed me how to do a diabetic foot exam, (tests the nerves in the feet) so I got to do that on one of the patients (I know it doesn't sound glamorous, but for someone who wants to go into the medical field getting to be a doctor's sidekick is pretty much the highlight of my life). I got to use a nose scope and look up a patient's nose for polyps, sores, etc (again you're probably wondering how any of this is exciting). He's also been teaching me things as we see different cases, and even quizzes me sometimes (which to my surprise I have been able to answer his questions). We have a medical student currently volunteering who wants to go into osteopathic medicine and he's always offering advice and insight, as well as a resident who offers input. Oh and I got to do my first 12 lead EKG this past week. I can't even find words to describe how grateful and excited I am for these experiences. We get patients with anything ranging from an infected dog bite to something as severe as AIDS, and I get to see it all firsthand.

I've been loving the case management aspect of this job as well. I got to meet with my first behavioral health client this week. She's a couple years older than my mom, and here she is, putting her hope in my abilities to help her find a way to pay for her rent and utilities that are being shut off. "They shut off my gas today." All I could do was give her the numbers to call and tell her we were going to figure it out and get it taken care of (which I also had to convince myself of). I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that as a case manager, people are basically directly depending on me. (Kudos to my social work friends- i.e. Heather. How do you do it??). Nonetheless I'm loving it, especially because I get to learn what the patients are struggling with outside of their doctor visits. I get to learn about their situation, and put the pieces together about why their health is the way it is. So many times, have I heard patients say, "Well, it's gotten so bad because I ran out of my medicine and couldn't afford to get it refilled." Or, "I didn't have a way to get here."

One value the Jesuit volunteer community strives toward, is seeing God in all things. As I've said before, and as I'm sure you all know, it's easier at some times than others. Our roommate Chris lead spirituality night this past week (we take turns every week) and he challenged us to think back on a time this week where we saw God in an unexpected way, or at an unexpected time. As I listened to my roommates, tons of instances came flooding back to me, but one that stood out in particular, was where I least expected it. I was walking to the bus stop after work,  and noticed that I was overcome with joy and peace. Nothing particularly exciting happened that day- it was simply a joy and peace that only comes from God. But then the thought occurred to me that my time here is only temporary. Most of the time, that thought has the tendency of stealing my joy. This time however, for whatever reason, I realized I'm finally o.k. with knowing that this is temporary. All throughout college I was constantly worrying; what's gonna happen when this test is over? When this class ends? When this money is gone? When this time runs out? When we graduate? I knew I wasn't supposed to worry, but I could just never let go of it so that God's peace about his plan for my life could land somewhere. My junior and senior year of college, my roommate Erin used to cite John 10:10 a lot- "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." She would always strive to live her life this way, and I always understood what she meant, but I felt I could never quite get there for some reason. My bridges were burned. I never really realized how much the worry was holding me back from having this full life that Jesus gave me. In that moment, I realized that finally, after all those prayers and all the pleading with God, He finally helped me let go of worry, find joy and peace in God's present moment, have life, and have it to the full.

Anyway, I'm sure you're probably wondering what my housemates and I have been doing when we're not working and trying to be in bed by 9:00 p.m. We've had a chance to go to some great free concerts (Craig Morgan and All American Rejects), have dinner with some really great people who have some connection with JVC (which I'm finding out is about 90% of the world, it seems like everyone in JVC knows everyone), lots of popcorn movie nights (Bethesda, if you're reading this, I hope you're doing your part to keep the popcorn companies in business), a couple nights out on the town, and we've been cooking up a storm! I've been making homemade vegetable soup, hummus, granola bars, homemade spaghetti sauce, black bean burgers, and tons more. I love that I've had so much time to cook things from scratch. My roommate Allie is an excellent baker and has been taking care of our baked goods like bread, cookies, basically all the important stuff. Morgen also loves to cook and has made some really delicious dinners. Chris is...well, he's learning, and definitely excited to learn how to cook more things and it's been fun getting to teach him some stuff. I taught him how to make sauce the other day. My housemates are trying to eat predominately vegetarian meals because it's a simpler, more eco-friendly way of living (which is obviously no problem for me), so that's been somewhat of an adventure too. We got to check out some really fun thrift stores and flea markets, and we're finally getting comfortable roaming around the city. We're really looking forward to exploring some more. It's hard to believe we've only been here for 3 weeks and have so much more to experience! Oh and I finally got my MCAT score! It looks pretty good. I'm right in the competitive range for the schools I'm applying to, so prayers that the medical schools will pick me and for my continued discernment would be greatly appreciated! And thank you all for all your prayers and support- I literally could not have done this without that. God has certainly been providing through all this. Anyway, my wonderful housemates took me out to dinner to celebrate that with me- which I was not expecting at all. Anyway, now we are looking to an extra day off tomorrow! Hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing, fun, safe Labor day!

More to come very soon! 

Peace and joy, 

Heidi